g was graduated from our high school this June. Since that time, it has been brought to our attention that certain insufficiencies are present in our graduates, so we are recalling all students for further education.
We have learned that in the process of the instruction we forgot to install one or more of the following:
- At least one salable skill,
- A comprehensive and utilitarian set of values, and
- A readiness for and an understanding of the responsibilities of citizenship.
A recent consumer study consisting of a follow-up of our graduates has revealed that many of them have been released with defective parts. Racism and materialism are serious flaws and we have discovered they are a part of the makeup of almost all of our products. These defects have been determined to be of such magnitude that the model produced in June is considered highly dangerous and should be removed from circulation as a hazard to the nation.
Some of the equipment which was in the past classified as optional has been reclassified as standard and should be a part of every product of our school. Therefore, we plan to equip each graduate with:
- A desire to continue to learn,
- A dedication to solving problems of local, national and international concern,
- Several productive ways to use leisure time,
- A commitment to the democratic way of life,
- Extensive contact with the world outside of school, and
- Experience in making decisions.
In addition, we found we had inadvertently removed from your child his interest, enthusiasm, motivation, trust and joy. We are sorry to report that these items have been mislaid and have not been turned in at the school Lost and Found Department. If you will inform us as to the value you place on these qualities, we will reimburse you promptly by check or cash.
As you can see, it is to your interest and vitally necessary for your safety and the welfare of all that graduates be returned so that these errors and oversights can be corrected. We admit that it would have been more effective and less costly to have produced the product correctly in the first place, but hope you will forgive our errors and continue to respect and support your public schools.
P. Dantic, Principal