Many people are stuck in self-defeating relationships because they don’t know how to live by themselves. They become fearful of staying alone because they take it upon themselves to be the source of their partner’s happiness.
It is easy for them to feel frustrated and say they want out, but it ends in words and not actions. Do you find yourself in this type of situation?
Those who decide to leave are not able to learn from their mistakes; they end up repeating the same string of behavior in a new relationship. This pattern of behavior is usually an addiction; because you put someone else’s needs before your own, which is the source of many people’s emotional over-indulgence, and it is the true definition of codependency
. Sadly, the result is a lot of hurt, disappointment, and depression. But how can you reclaim your power and overcome codependency?Accept yourself
You need to first accept yourself for who you are. You need to learn to stop working endlessly to be the source of happiness to someone else’s life because it is not possible and it will never be. Instead of focusing on the other person, you need to focus on accepting who you are, learn your mistakes, your flaws and remind yourself that you do not need to prove yourself to someone else.
When you accept yourself, your partner will see you for who you are, even though it might be hard to accept that you are only responsible for your happiness and not your partners; it is something you need to do for you to be happy, which will, in turn, make your partner appreciate you even more. Remember that it will take time to get to this point, but you need to be conscious of your efforts, keep track of your trends so that when you slip back, you put yourself in check.Get help
When you begin to accept yourself, you will learn what you can't do by yourself, and you will seek help on what you are weak in. When you are charting your path to growth, it is not going to be easy,
but if you have a great support system like getting help from a professional counselor or a recovery center
, you will be at a better place of accepting yourself.
Since you are used to making others feel loved, it is time for others to show you how you should appreciate yourself and show you that you are the most important person in any relationship you get involved in.Enjoy yourself by having fun
Now, since you have seen a world that you have been blind to, you need to discover your hobbies, plan for recreation activities and have fun on what you love doing. Concentrating on pain is a recipe for self-pity and you need to balance it out with fun. It is easy to forget yourself in a state of codependency,
because you are often used to endurance, trying hard to be something you are not to please someone else to the point that you forget to smile or even love.You need to create time for yourself to have fun and enjoy the things that make you happy.
Pleasure has a way of restoring your energy and giving you a sense of well being. This will nourish your soul and make you even more productive at work.Conclusion
Codependency breeds depression, and it can be hard to work on being positive and loving yourself overnight. As of now, your objective has to be accepting yourself and ensuring that you bounce back when you feel you are sliding to the old ways.
Be patient with yourself, and you will eventually emerge on the other side.